Have you ever experienced a situation in your life and asked yourself, “What on Earth was that all about? I certainly didn’t deserve that!”?
In American culture, we learn early on that there are many tests and quizzes we have to take in order to move up to the next level, whether it is for school or work. Even as little children we are tested and evaluated. When a baby begins to walk, a mommy will slowly let go to see how many steps he can take before falling, sometimes, flat on his face. As a baby, hopefully, there is not too much thought put into this, and we just stand back up and try again. I am pretty sure that not too many babies would give up at that point, stay there on their bottoms, and try to analyze why mommy would let go or ask why isn’t walking easier since it would create so much more freedom…….
As adults, we spend quite a bit of time asking “why?” and “how come?”. Life does not come with multiple choice answers either, so even more time is used trying to come up with more than one possible solution, just in case…. Why, do you suppose, people do this to themselves? Besides the fact that American children are so used to having to take tests with definitive answers, we often take circumstances too personally. “Why would she say that to me? How come she has such a great circle of friends? Why do things come so easily for him and he doesn’t even appreciate it? Why isn’t that me? What am I doing wrong? What is the lesson I am supposed to learn from all of this crap?” Hmmmmm.
Life is school. We don’t graduate by a certain date or after so many years at a particular level. Experience and learning are all relative to the individual. It might take a person 20 unhappy break-ups to finally realize she is dating the wrong kind of man. Only then, for this person, can she graduate to a new pool of suitors. For other people, one or two unhealthy relationships are enough to learn this lesson. Time to move onward and upward, girlfriend!
Stressing about the answers to “why?” questions takes our focus off of the moment and removes us from the natural flow of being. The answer, or lesson, doesn’t have to be figured out immediately after the test; there are no grades or time limits per say. Fixated on the “why?” will definitely keep you from actually hearing the answer. Obsession and anxiety will block the solution.
Learning depends solely on the individual. One thing is for sure, the same lesson keeps coming around until we do finally understand its meaning. So, it’s best to accept that there is a lesson to learn but remain in the flow of life, be present in the moment, open and allow, and then feel how easily the answer is revealed to you. Lesson learned! Oh, and remember to breathe!